Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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