I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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