i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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