before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
