took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize