My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize