My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
