Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
