you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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