she woke up with a sticky ear
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize