girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
