How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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