When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
