So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
