I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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