I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
