I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
