their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
