sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
