The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
