She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
