Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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