This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize