Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
