Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
