alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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