She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
