I want to walk on stilts...naked
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i love accidental penises.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
