Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
