it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize