you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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