Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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