We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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