Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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