i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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