Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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