it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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