"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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