did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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