I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize