Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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