God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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