hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
