i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
