Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
