ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
