is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
