Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize