woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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