I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
