By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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