Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
