my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
