"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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