someone threw a dead crab at me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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