it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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