But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
